woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
