Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
