I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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