none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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