Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
