i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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