Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I need a burrito and a hug.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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