YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
