Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
