i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
