The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize