I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
