By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Randomize
