he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She's the barista slut.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
