I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
