Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
