this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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