is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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