Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
