Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize