So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
