oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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