I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize