Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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