Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
