like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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