your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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