i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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