I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
