the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
