your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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