I would go down on you faster than GM stock
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
