its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
