and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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