question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
