Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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