I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize