I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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