Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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