i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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