just come out here and I will go home with you...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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