Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
