It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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