im six kinds of drunk right now
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
