I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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