Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
