Pregnant stripper...not hot.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
