he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
