I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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