five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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