Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
