i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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