I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
