Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
