so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
