This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
