If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
