If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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