k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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