there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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