you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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