my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
