Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
