I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
