I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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