I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
