i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
so much tequila, so little girl.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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