respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
