she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize