i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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