is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
